Tag: loving relationships

The Secret Weapon in Relationships: Kindness

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As you may know, I have written a little book about relationships and how to make them work. Over about 60 pages I have-in one way or other-emphasized the importance of kindness. Basically pointing out that if you bring kindness to your relationships, be they intimate ones, work relationships, friendships, or those with family members, you have a great recipe for lasting, loving, relationships.

A friend gave me her feedback the other day, which made me stop and think. Besides some very well-meant comments about grammar and flow issues that could benefit from improvements, she said it offers “surface insight into solutions to very complex problems”. That puzzled me. As if loving kindness is a ‘too simple’ solution for complex relationship problems.

Whoever says that ‘kindness’ is simple hasn’t grasp the depth of insight and high level of awareness it takes to practice kindness. If it were easy to be kind, if kindness were the main driving emotion/attitude people have with each other, we would not have criticism, judgment, hate, wars, violence. It requires humility, love, and seeing the good in the other person rather than looking for shortcomings. “The Kiss” by Gustav Klimt (painting above) symbolizes this point perfectly!

I know for myself how often I am unkind, when my ego gets in the way, when I am thoughtless, when I can’t be bothered with other people’s needs, when the inside voice in me won’t be silenced and shouts “What about me!!!!”, and lastly, when I am unkind with myself!

No, being kind is not easy. We all admire Mandela, Gandhi, and the Dalai Lama as they show us the meaning of non-violence, of kindness. Very few people master that level of kindness and love. You can test it for yourself by being highly focused for one day to be kind to yourself and others…and notice when you are not! I would love to hear from you how that experiment went!

So if you want to spruce up your valentines day with a simple, easy solution to relationship problems, go and buy my book Delicious Love Forever: Recipes for lasting, loving relationships  either on kindle or a hard copy, or read it for free on ‘kindle unlimited’. It gives you simple concepts – but don’t be fooled, they take a lot to put into practice!

photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/oilpainting-gallery/4187152134/

Delicious Love Forever: Recipes for Lasting Loving Relationships

photo (3)The need to love and be loved seems to be in our DNA. Yet many people struggle to have lasting loving relationships. They find they don’t get along as well as they had at the beginning of the relationship; character traits undetected earlier raised their ugly head. People go into attacking mode to defend themselves. Others close down or run for the hills.

The book I have written is now available on Amazon for $4.99 and you can order the kindle version here. The paperback will take another 10 to 14 days to be available. It will be quite a bit dearer due to the printing costs and postage. But I digress! Continue reading “Delicious Love Forever: Recipes for Lasting Loving Relationships”

Love as Cure

Lewis, Amini, and Lannon (A
general theory of life) describe clearly the adverse impact of lacking love in
early childhood. Many survivors of abuse and neglect can attest to the
difficulties in mood regulation, distress tolerance, negative self-evaluation,
and even physical problems as a legacy of lack of love.

They propose that therapy is the
pathway to heal from such impoverished childhood environments. Although therapy
can be a pathway to heal past deficits of love, therapist and client would have
a deep heart connection for this to work. This highlights the need for finding
a therapist that engages with you in a positively charged ‘limbic dance’.

Continue reading “Love as Cure”