Tag: couples

Whispers Of Love: Baby Boomers Don’t Give Up

So, the third book in my Golden Series is now available on pre-order. If you want to know how Claudia is getting on with a ten-year-old orphan she’s taken under her wings, make sure you get a copy of WHISPERS OF LOVE. After the 20th of November, the price will return back to ‘normal’.

Life is what happens while you’re making other plans…

Connor Anderson leads a charmed life and knows exactly where he’s going. Men want to be him, women want to be with him, and Hollywood simply wants him. When he crashes his car in the backwaters of New Zealand on his way to the location of his newest film, it’s just an inconvenience. Right? Continue reading “Whispers Of Love: Baby Boomers Don’t Give Up”

Why Am I Passionate About the Three Principles?

Often people ask me why I am so passionate about the Three Principles of Mind, Thought, and Consciousness. Obviously, understanding the principles is not a fool proof safe guard from life’s disappointments:

  1. The understanding doesn’t protect us from making mistakes,
  2. getting overwhelmed by strong feelings
  3. misunderstanding people,
  4. or becoming disheartened by circumstances in our lives.

We are human beings after all and subject to our limited ability to perceive ‘what’s out there’

and to keep our own stuff, our ‘diving bell’* out of any equation as much as possible.
However, understanding the principles is showing us the pathway to improved or restored
mental, emotional, and physical health. With increasing awareness of how the principles
work within ourselves and others we are able to
  1. be more often and longer ‘in the zone’ of peace of mind and well-being
  2. are more compassionate with ourselves and others
  3. get quickly out of low moods – or even avoid them altogether
  4. reduce or eliminate stress, depression, and anxiety
  5. are healthier allround
  6. enjoy warm and loving relationships
If you want to deepen or refresh your understanding of the principles, Raeburn House is
starting the courses on the 18th of February (there is no date set yet for the Relationship
course but hopefully that is clarified soon).
As some of you know, I have retired and will move to Wellington in April this year. Term
one courses are your last chance to come to one of my courses. It is not clear whether
Raeburn House is able to secure another Three-Principle-Facilitator to continue the work!

Lesley, participant from last terms self-confidence course is interested to set up
a discussion group of people who would like to meet and discuss their understanding of the Three Principles to keep things fresh. If you are interested to participate send me a note and I forward her details to you.

* The diving bell is one of my favorite metaphors for how we get in our own way. To
know more about it, you’ll have to come to one of my courses run by Raeburn House
or get my book(s).
Credits Photo: Title: 255871551752875   Owner: alleyntegtmeyer7832

Interview: Relationships and the 3 Principles

When you feel passionate about something you probably like to talk about it. Well, I certainly do. So it was a great day for me when Donna K. Fitch, author of ‘Second Death’ interviewed me about writing the book ‘Delicious Love Forever’, what made me write about relationships and combine my understanding of the 3 Principles and recipes.

We had lots of fun – You can listen to the 2-part interview (each about 15 minutes) by clicking on the links below!

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Photo by Beverly & Pack

Part 1

Part 2

5 Great Reasons For Being Curious

Photo by Fazen
Photo by Fazen

They say “curiosity killed the cat” implying that it wouldn’t be good for you to be curious. Well now, there is a thought in urgent need of updating! If you think about it, throughout the history of mankind, curiosity always led to an advancement of some sort. Without curiosity we might still be living in trees. Who knows?

In a very simplified, black and white way we can divide people into two categories: On one end of the continuum are the close-minded who hold on to their beliefs and opinions, think usually that they are right, they like routine, and resist new ideas and the ‘unknown’. On the other end are the curious, those open to new experiences, the inquisitive, those who are excited by novelty and are bubbling with new ideas.

It’s not hard to see that I am biased towards the curious, isn’t it? So what are the advantages of being curious?

1. In jobs that require innovative approaches, out of the square thinking, a person with a high level of curiosity is just the right person to bring new ideas to the table.

2. Curios people also seem to look into matter deeper than others. They like learning, finding things out, or taking things apart to see how they work. Their passion in learning drives them to get to the bottom of things until their understanding is of exceptional depth.

3. Because curious people have the tendency to dig deeper into issues, they are good at solving puzzles and problem solving. Although getting easily bored with routine, they will stick with a problem until they have satisfied their thirst for discovery.

4. Another advantage of  curious people is the ease with which they deal with uncertainty. They don’t have things to be clear-cut and sorted. They can easily tolerate ambiguity and have little problems seeing things from a different perspective. In fact, they might even know clearly that there always is another perspective. They could have coined the phrase “This is one way of looking at it!” 

5. Most importantly, however, is curiosity in relationships. Yes, I now, it’s a particular bias and interest of mine. But bear with me here. Often couples, groups, or even nations have very distinct ideas and beliefs that may not be shared by ‘the other’ partner, groups, or nations. The close-minded, rigid, righteous might ‘dig’ in and start enforcing their opinion, trying to convince the other that they are wrong, might even judge them for their ‘errant’ way.

For a successful relationship however it is much more helpful to stay curious. Rather than judging and insisting on one’s own point of view, the curious stance is inquiring how the other person came to his/her point of view, what made them think the way they do, what is so important for them about their stance. With an attitude of curiosity we avoid the rigid demarcation line of ‘war fare’, be that in an intimate relationship or among larger groups. We learn about each other and open up the possibility of a more understanding, compassionate relationship and tolerance.

If you are interested to read more about how to have relationships built on the above values, you will find ample ideas and inspirations in my new book “Delicious Love Forever: Recipes for Lasting, Loving Relationships” available on Amazon.com.

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Photo by Fazen

Resonance sets the tone in your relationships

origin_6985104241The interesting part of a virtual book tour is that the reader is presented with a wide range of topics and ideas, sometimes viewed from a different angle than they are used to from. To learn something new we need to be able to view a situation from all sorts of different angles. Today I have the pleasure to introduce my colleague and author Linda Easthouse. Linda has an interesting background as Natural Health Therapist and her post about relationships is based on her rich background in a variety of holistic disciplines.

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Relationships can be stressful. Whether the relationship is with your spouse, partner or children where intensity can spiral rapidly, or whether it is at work with colleagues, the boss, and clients, where stress keeps you tied in knots for hours at a time, relationships wear on us. Our relationships can be a wonderful reservoir of encouragement and strength when they are healthy but in our modern world it seems that many relationships turn toxic and strain our inner resources to manage them.

It does take two to tango and relationships always have two, or often more, sides to them, but you can only be responsible for your side of the equation. That is not to say that you are at “fault” when a relationship breaks down or is very stressful; however you have more power than you know. It is within you to change the character of the relationship by changing yourself.  Please don’t misinterpret what I am saying to mean that you should be a doormat and just give in to appease the others or put up with bad behavior with a smile on your face and pretend it doesn’t matter. It does matter. However, you have the resources to change the relationship using the concept of resonance.

Resonance is like the ripples in a pool of water. If you drop a stone in one end and someone else drops a stone in the other, the ripples eventually meet and become something different.  Where they meet is your relationship. When you change the size or shape of the rock or the angle at which you drop it in, the ripple changes so that when it meets the ripple from the other end, the meeting creates a different wave. Your job, your child, your finances may not have changed, but if you do, your rock changes and what you send out to meet those other things creates a different response. When the response is different, it allows the other rock space to initiate changes too. When you send out a different vibe, you get a different response. If you can stop dropping in rocks of fear and anger or frustration, then the other side will have the wiggle room to try a different stone. Your change affects them and causes changes in response. Be the change. The responses may be slow and almost imperceptible at the beginning, but others will respond differently and you will start to receive back a wave more in tune with your own.

So let’s explore Resonance a little more. This is just a basic sketch of the core principles of resonance but it will give a step onto a new path the leads to healthy relationships.

What you send out is what you get back.

People that we end up living and working with are people that we have drawn into our circle by our subconscious vibrations. It is very much like the animal response of when a wolf smells fear in the prey, they attack. If they don’t smell fear in the prey they are much more wary and keep their distance.  If you generate fear from your subconscious level you are inviting predator type people to attack you. Most often that leads to verbal attacks, over burdening you at work, expecting you to do everything while they sit back and criticize, and it spirals down from there. As you deal with your own fears of value and self-worth, as you become a person who sees your own worth and knows how to set boundaries, you will be perceived differently. It may mean that you change jobs or let go of some friends and social circles. You will draw to you and be attracted to places and people that resonate or vibrate at the level that you do. As you clean up the garbage in your own life, you will naturally gravitate to people who have a cleaner emotional environment as well. You will also allow those around you to make similar changes and let go of their need to be controlling or nasty. Be the person that brings out the best in others by being the best in yourself.

Dont take personally what others do.

I know from very personal experience that when one of my children is going through a tough time and acting out, I used to take it personally. I would blame myself for not being a good enough parent, for not providing what they needed, for whatever excuse appeared. That is a recipe for disastrous relationships and it doesn’t help my child. I can only live my life and provide unconditional love and compassion along with good training in thinking skills, social manners, and personal growth. Beyond that he is responsible for himself. As long as I let him put the blame on me and not take his own responsibility for his actions, I am preventing us both from growing. It works in the home, the sports team, the office, and anywhere else. Don’t let others suck you into the feeling that you are to blame for their behavior or short falls. If someone is having a bad day and reacting poorly, don’t try to rescue them. Give them compassion, refrain from judgment, and recognize that their bad day doesn’t have to wreck yours. Don’t get sucked into their vortex of pain and dysfunction just because they are physically present around you.  Keep your resonance up at a level that serves you.

Find your center point and keep the grounding wire plugged in.

Have you ever been in an old house or somewhere in a less developed part of the world where houses and electric plugs aren’t grounded? You probably discovered that it is pretty easy to get a shock off of nearly anything and you have to be very careful plugging and unplugging things. The grounding wire dissipates the static electricity down into the ground so that it doesn’t build up and shock someone. The same applies to your emotions. There is friction and electric fields that build up in personal relationships. When one or both of you are grounded and balanced that friction drains off and is dissipated so that it doesn’t create shocks and sparks between you. We do actually have an electric circuit with the earth’s electric circuit and literally need to be grounded, especially in our world of electronic soup that we live it. But just as important, we have an emotional and spiritual circuit with creation and the creator. It also needs to be grounded. When we maintain a centered, plugged in relationship between ourselves and the source of all light and power, we are able to ground out and dissipate the static in the relationships around us. Things just don’t flare and spark the same way. Your resonance will be smooth and gentle with shielded wires and good grounding.

Relationships don’t have to be stressful even when others around you are stressed and reactive. As you create the person you want to be by releasing your own fears and self-sabotaging behaviors, facing the underlying panic buttons, and pushing the reset button on your own life, you will surround yourself with people and situations that nurture and regenerate you.

Watch from my forthcoming book, Pushing the reset button: a guide to creating a life you love, to be released in Oct.  In the meantime, to learn more about turning off the panic button, establishing resonance, and generally removing stress from your life please check out my blog at Easthouse Natural Health Centre.

To thank Gudrun from hosting me today please download my gift to you, 3 Common Problems all Professionals Face that keep them Struggling with Exhaustion, Feeling Sick all the time & Constantly Popping Pills or Vitamins (and what to do about them).

About Linda Easthouse

Linda has been a trainer, educator, and health advocate all her life. With 10 years of experience as a Natural Health Therapist, she helps people regain wellness. As a certified Practitioner of Health Kinesiology, and Matrix Energetics, using hands-on therapies that restore the body, mind, and spirit, she assists people to take control of their health, establish healthy patterns, and gain control over their stresses. Linda founded East House Natural Health and sees clients in both Calgary and Abbotsford and teaches in western Canada. She has a Master’s degree and many years of apprenticeship in the healing arts under a variety of teachers. Linda loves to share the Road to Health with people of all ages.

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Gudrun is a therapist, author, and life-long explorer of the mysteries of the human mind. She is retiring from mental health and trauma work and has published now her first book Delicious Love Forever.  She is passionate about applying the Principles of Mind, Thought, and Consciousness, as formulated by the late Sydney Banks, not only to her books but also to everyday living situations.
 

Keep Romance Alife in Your Relationship

Couple romance A common perception is that after a while relationships lose their romantic touch and turn into something more akin companionship and friendship. However, a group of researchers have investigated a large number of studies to find out whether this common perception is true.

They found that we don't have to settle for 'luke warm'. Indeed, they say it is perfectly possible to have lifelong romance and passion in your relationship. More so, people who report more romance in their relationship are usually more satisfied and happy. A key to romantic love seems to be the feeling that "…my partner is there for me".

So, don't settle for less, don't restrict your expections. You can have longlasting romance in your relationships. It is attainable. However, you have to work with focus on devotion on having lasting romance in your life!

Read the original research article here

 

The Tale of 2 Brains

It is surprising how many couples struggle with their relationship – yet they fail to get professional imput that could help them to improve their happiness and satisfaction a good working partnership could hold. Their family car gets more often a tune-up than their relationship – even though people often have even less understanding of what makes a good relationship than what it takes to have a smooth running car.

In the following video clip, marriage expert Mark Gungor presents a humorous exploration of the difference between how women and men think and behave.

http://www.youtube.com/v/GuMZ73mT5zM&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f&border=1

Improve Your Sex-Life

Love-3 Sex is the most profound and intimate way people express their love to each other. Through the ever increasing access to information through traditional media and the internet we are very well informed about the many different ways people enjoy and pursue sex and sexual gratification in their lives. Even though one might think we have been 'immunised' and desensitised by explicit sexual depictions in public, in movies, and in the media, sex or the lack thereof is still a very reliable barometer of the quality of people's relationships with each other.

Continue reading “Improve Your Sex-Life”